Pirates of the St Lawrence versus South Star
Sunday 15 July 2012
by Lord Legless
Photo by Kat Roche

The Pirates record-breaking record-breaking season (that is, the season which breaks the record for the most records broken) continued this Saturday as new faces South Star graced The Candy Fields with their first visit. The day promised to be another scorcher, and the field looked to be a technical batsman’s dry dream, as evinced by the dust billowing from beneath the tractor as Thiéry Milot raced across the Terminal End. A firmly struck ball could easily yield four runs in these arid conditions, predicted various Pirates, to general agreement.

In keeping with the desert theme, Eddie Palmer proved to an astonished crowd of cowed cricketers that he was more snake-charmer than Indiana Jones by plucking a writhing serpent by the tail from within the folds of the tent where it had been enjoying a morning kip. Superfan Mélissa Landry, upon seeing the squirming squamate, turned a milky hue, and was heard repeating, “J’aime pas ça, j’aime pas ça…” under her breath.

With the snake returned to the grass, setup continued. Meanwhile, a drama of a grimmer nature was being played out on the wicket, as a nest of baby fieldmice was revealed once more in the rolls of the mat. Rather than condemn them to a protracted death in the heat or inside the belly of a snake, skipper Bell – the only vegetarian on the field – decided to dispatch of the mice quickly and painlessly. Thus, the cruel cycle of nature continued, with some murmurs about blood sacrifices on the wicket to appease the Cricket Gods.

Visitors South Star indulged in two time-honored traditions for first-timers at The Candy Fields: arriving late, and marvelling at the Pirates’ home pitch. The toss was forgone with Bell’s, “D’you mind if we bat first?”

“No, not at all,” was stellar Captain Sajid’s reply.

The navy-blue-clad Southerners took to the field in what can only be described as weather better suited to baking clay pots than standing around in dark clothing. First in for the Pirates were Palmer and Mridha, with the latter succumbing third ball, bottom-edging a cut onto his own wicket. Palmer was next to fall to Safi, offering a steepling leading-edge to Sajid at gully.

Milot turned Palmer’s leading-edge demise into a trend with one of his own, snagged at mid-off by Safi. Although Milot was disappointed with his final bat of the summer, his contribution to the match was far from over.

As number 5 Sarran Bhola flighted his wicket on yet another ball in the air, this time to long on, things began to look very grim indeed for the batting side at 42 for 4. The Pirate ship was taking water fast, and the South Star was ascending.

The moment Roche stepped onto the jute, the Pirates’ stuttering run rate pricked up its ears, bolted off on a gallop, and never looked back. Captain Bell, in at number 3, had already opened his account in solid fashion, and paired with Roche, turned the Stars’ giddy optimism into profound and stultifying consternation. Roche stroked balls confidently to every corner of the pitch, taking advantage of the dry conditions to send 12 fours skipping over the boundary, while putting just over a half-baker’s dozen hurtling into the farmer’s field for six. At the other crease, Bell frustrated the visiting bowlers by doggedly protecting his stumps, pinging 13 fours of his own, and leaving the Southerners with no answer to the batting onslaught.

When all was said and done, and the final ball of the 40th over was bowled, Bell and Roche had smashed the Pirates’ partnership record of 161* from Bell and Milot versus Bengal United in 2011, with a stunning 219* runs between them. Roche finished his innings with 127 not out off 73 deliveries, his second century in as many weeks, while Bell notched an inspiring 90 not out off 114 balls.

Leaving the field with two records broken, Roche’s personal best and the pair’s new club high, the batsmen discovered that yet ANOTHER record had been broken in the shade of the pavilion: longest bout of pad-rash in Pirates’ history. Matt Legault, pencilled in to bat at #7, was seen peeling off the shin-guards he had donned a distant three-and-a-half hours previously. Doubtlessly, a record he’ll cherish long into his twilight years, and one which will make for a punishingly boring story.

South Star knew that they would need something special to meet the 261 tallied by the Pirates, and came out of the gate with determination.

Opener Legault shook the pins and needles from his pad-worn legs and bowled his quota of 8 overs on the trot, using his pace and variation to keep Usman and Salman from swinging too freely. He finished with an economy of under 5 per over. Mridha, at the other end, found swing and seam to baffle the South Star bats, and silenced the dangerous-looking Salman with cracking off-cutter through the gate.

Mridha’s next ball proved as deadly as its predecessor, scattering the bails and sending Shuhan and his duck back to the pavilion. Sadly, the hat-trick was not to be, but Mridha finished his outing with an incredibly miserly 20 runs from 8 overs, with a maiden and two wickets to boot.

Sensing collapse, the Stars dug in and worked their way back into the match. Usman achieved a hard-fought half-century before being tempted out of his crease by a perfectly flighted delivery from Bell, whereupon the hands of keeper Palmer dashed the bails, and with them the century dreams of the Star’s number one.

Rajesh and Fahad subsequently proved stubborn before their wickets, each grinding out more than 30 runs. The Pirates’ total began to look more and more assailable with every passing over. The Stars were taking full advantage of the rock-hard outfield and were turning what would have been, under normal conditions, singles into hard-run twos.

“Right, lads,” said Bell to a sweaty, injury-ravaged band of Pirates gathered around the wicket. “The only way we’re going to win this game is to bowl them out – run rate is not going to be an issue.”

The captain was right. The required run-rate had plummeted, and wickets were needed. With an astonishing display of caution-to-the-wind aggressive spin bowling amidst ferocious hitting into the forest, Bell and Milot blasted through the South Star ranks, helped by the hands of Roche and Montpelier. The Quebecer gathered three wickets (his best haul to date) to take with him for the rest of the summer, and the captain added five South Star scalps to his 90 runs for a remarkable personal outing.

With 19 runs needed from 12 balls, two wickets in hand, the field scattered and skipper Sajid finding the fence, Bell bent one back from around the wicket to trap Agam lbw for 1, and then pouched a caught and bowled with his final delivery. The Pirates breathed a sigh of relief; what had been thought a certain victory for the home side had turned into a knuckle-biter, with South Star falling a mere 15 runs shy. Definitely a match for the record.

Pirates of the St Lawrence versus South Star
Sunday 15 July 2012
The Candy Fields, Mont-Saint-Hilaire
Match type: 40 overs per side
Weather conditions: Enough UV to tan a Scotsman
Result: Pirates of the St Lawrence won by 15 runs

Pirates of the St Lawrence Innings

Extras 34 (Byes 16, Leg Byes 6, No Balls 2, Wides 10)
Total 261 for 4 in 40 overs

FoW (1-0, 2-18, 3-28, 4-42)

South Star Innings

Extras 52 (Byes 10, Leg Byes 8, No Balls 4, Wides 30)
Total 246 for 10 in 39 overs

FoW (1-68, 2-68, 3-148, 4-159, 5-166, 7-212, 8-239, 9-243, 10-246)